The Rhyme of the Right

In my boredom, I've decided to write some of the most god awful poetry that you've ever seen. The government deserves some humour after their months of hard work, so let's give them some...

There was a young chancellor called Rish

Who, by all accounts, was a bit of a prick

He loaned us some shrapnel, claimed the government was factual

But really did it all for the rich

O Tories, my Tories, what have you done?

Once again you’ve fucked the country in the bum

In despair and disaster, what have I done?

I’ve voted tory because Brexit is fun

Lovely Boris, the voice of a nation

Crying out for some motivation

But what did you do? Serve the NHS a poo

And left the rest of us wanting to simply sniff glue

Priti Patel, please go to hell

Before your dead eyes get us under your spell

You tried with numbers, you good strong lady

But then you went back to killing babies

Mr Matt Hancock, watch your tone

Or before you know, I’ll have Bercow on the phone

You stand there so tall, but your brain is so small

And frankly you’d be better served as another backbench fool

Bless the Conservatives, far better than the alternative

You leave me running out of superlatives

Wondrous, great, oh for heaven’s sake

You’re actually shit so please just quit