What a total bellend

As I’ve mentioned before, I usually start off these little ramblings with a pun that is both witty and invariably hysterically funny, but no. I mean what a total wanker arsehole Dominic Cummings is. Of course, by this stage, all has been well documented about the foolishness of his actions; but what of the impact? How is this going to impact wider society? For myself he made me so irate with rage that I started feeling ill; the best course of action I thought would be a 200 mile drive to ensure my illness wasn’t affecting my sight: I’m happy to report that I was able to see the elderly couple I coughed on very clearly so thankfully all good on this front.

Flaunting the lockdown rules, to at least some minor extent I can (perhaps controversially) totally understand and empathise with. We are, of course, over 2 months into a lockdown: two months without friends, family or pubs. However, there comes a point where you must check yourself a remind yourself why it is we are doing this: to save lives. Why, then, would Dominic Cummings, the de-facto Prime Minister, so wilfully and arrogantly break these rules, rules that he had a part in creating? It’s a bit like creating a law against snorting loads of coke and then doing it anyway, something I know Boris and his cronies would never dream of doing.

The impact thus far has been clear: more people are going out, meeting up with loved ones and feeling increasingly emboldened in these actions. At that, why wouldn’t you be? It’s not like the government would make one rule for their chums and one for us! That would be absurd!

This was all wholly preventable, even after Cummings cuntish antics. Sack him. Make an example of him that this behaviour is not merely irresponsible, but dangerous. But no, of course the Tories kept him. The reason for this is too glaringly obvious: they value electoral success and power over the lives of those who they perceive as expendable scum. After all, Cummings masterminded the 2019 election for them, why wouldn’t you want to keep him on? What do you mean people will die? WE WANT POWER!

This whole fiasco has proved to be the most explicit mockery of the public in this entire epidemic, and that’s really saying something. Apologies that this wasn’t more academic and forensic (I shall leave that to Kier Starmer), but my lord. In the immortal words of Ed Miliband, what an absolutely ludicrous, absurd, make it up as you go along, couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery bunch of jokers there are running the government at the most crucial time in a generation for the country.

He said that in 2017, I think any new tweet in a similar vein would have a few more expletives in it.